


To Know You (Is To Bait You)

by Saiyangirl692



Series: Jackass [2]
Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 07:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18132932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiyangirl692/pseuds/Saiyangirl692
Summary: He changes the rules to their game.





	To Know You (Is To Bait You)

**Author's Note:**

> A companion piece to Loving You (Must be Like Suicide).  
> A further look into the love/hate relationship between Sterling and Barry.

 

**To Know You (Is To Bait You)**

 

Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan:

“He changes the rules to their game.”

 

-

 

They can almost be described as a couple.

Barry spends most of his time in their apartment now, and Sterling is equal measures of elated and sickened by it all.

“Hey, Barry,” he says from behind the bar, struggling to hide his smirk.

The blonde tilts his head back from his place on the sofa to face him.

“Yes, my sweet?”

The glass hits him suddenly, exploding across the side of his face. The cyborg does not bleed, but the artificial skin tears away in strips, revealing the steel and wiring beneath.

“You do realise that this is the-” he pauses for drama's sake, “ _Danger Zone!_ ”

The cyborg has crossed the room in seconds, and Sterling's jaw is held in a vice-like grip he is sure will bruise. He stares into the cold blue eyes of his lover, fearing that he has crossed the line, but then Barry lets out a bark of a laugh.

“You're damn insufferable,” he shakes his head, “I'm sure Krieger can patch me up. Wait up, won't you?”

 

-

 

“Is that a bruise?”

Sterling jerks away from Pam's probing fingers with a frown.

“I'm the world's best spy,” he snaps back, knowing even himself that he sounds defensive, “Bruises happen!”

He might have come to terms with the fact that she was his best friend, but even she would never know about his _relationship_ with Barry Dylan.

Mostly because he didn't understand it himself.

 

-

 

“You know I hate surprises!”

Walking into his apartment to find Barry bathed in blood and holding out a boquet of roses that were likely stolen from an old ladies grave had, quite frankly, scared the shit out of Sterling. He still held his gun in a shaking hand, though he had yet to fire any bullets.

“Except for surprise fellatio?” Barry asks hopefully, throwing the flowers to the side.

“Not when you look like that,” Sterling pointed vaguely with the barrel of the gun. “Who do you think you are? Elizabeth Bathory?”

“Who?”

“The Blood Countess? Bathed in the blood of- Never mind! Go get cleaned up,”

He waves the barrel again, this time towards the bathroom.

“Fine,” Barry rolls his eyes, “Join me?”

With a sigh of his own, Sterling finally stows away his gun and follows his lover down the hall.

 

-

 

_Falling from a height._

_Bullets._

_Strand him in space._

_Explosives_

_Fire_

 

He can just make out the words through the scribbles of pen slashed through them. He glances to the unmarred writing with a cock of his brow.

 

_Electrocution_

_Run him over_

_Drowning_

_Venom_

 

He turns with a sigh when he hears footsteps behind him and is met with a bucket of water to the face. He can only smile when the prongs of the tazer find his neck.

“I thought you were over this trying to kill me, sweetheart?” he asks when Sterling's face falls.

 

-

 

“I hate you,” he mouths against Barry's neck.

“I hate you,” he insists when a warm hand wraps around his length.

“I hate you,” he simpers when Barry buries himself inside him.

“I hate you,” he breaths with little conviction as he shoots his release into the blonde hairs of Barry's stomach.

 

-

 

“I'm starting to like you,” Barry had said at the bar, when they clinked their glasses together.

“I think I love you,” he'd turned and said, losing interest in Deliverance where it blared from the TV for the twentieth time.

“Oh sweetheart! I love you!” he'd cried out while spilling his release.

“Sterling Archer, I love you,” He says now, dipping his head to lay a gentle kiss upon his lovers shoulder.

It might have been Barry's game, but Sterling had learned how to bend the rules.

 

-

 

Barry knew how to break them.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Look out for the final installment of the Jackass Series: "Everybody Loves a Joker (No One Loves a Fool)" in the next week :)


End file.
